Marriage, Divorce, and Kids

Excerpt : It’s been said that one of the problems that married couples have today is that men tend to choose their wives the same way they choose their cars or trucks. They get the best one available and hope


It’s been said that one of the problems that
married couples have today is that men tend to
choose their wives the same way they choose their
cars or trucks.

They get the best one available and hope that
there’s not much maintenance down the road.

While this may occasionally be true, there are
certain practices that married couples must follow
in order to avoid adding to a divorce rate that
hovers around 50%. These are practices that are
essential not only for the success of their
marriage, they are essential for the well-being of
our children.

In Maggie Gallagher’s book, “The Abolition of
Marriage,” she states that, “Half of all children
will witness the breakup of

Practical Solutions To Divorce & Custody Concerns Also see : Helping Children to Cope with Divorce If you are a responsible parent facing the minefield of divorce, a prime concern will be helping your child cope with the process. If, on the other hand you are a parent who believes that old chestnut, "My child isn't bothered” or "kids take things...read more May I Divorce and Remarry? Divorce and Remarriage Ray Stark -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This is a subject that has caused much heartache, spiritual shipwreck and tragic loss of ministry potential. I am not speaking of...read more

a parent’s marriage.
Of these, close to half will also see the breakup
of a parent’s second marriage.”

Can we possibly continue with a system that allows
half of our children to witness the breakup of
their parent’s marriage? Is a divorce rate near
50% enough to have us consider new ideas about how
we decide about marriage and divorce?

One logical place to start is to educate people
about the qualities of a successful marriage.

We can’t be effective when we educate them two
months before they marry. Emotional intelligence
skills and relationship skills must be taught to
our young people early in life.

When we do teach them about successful relationships,
we

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should include these qualities:

1.Commitment—According to one definition,
“commitment is a freely chosen inner resolve to
follow through with a course even though
difficulty arises. How do we show our children
what to do when difficulty arises? Do we move to
where the grass is greener? Commitment is a daily
discipline. It’s the core from which we respond to
difficulty. It’s what makes our lives richer and
deeper.

2.Emotional Awareness—If we know what’s really
bothering us, we can have effective and meaningful
conversations with our spouse. We can be genuine,
honest, and open with each other. And we can
discover that much of the pain we feel in our
relationship is actually

Also see : 7 Ways to Rediscover Your True Passion After Divorce Going through a divorce is a very challenging time in a person's life. It is hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living "out of the habit" of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years. Eventually,...read more Divorced and Dejected - 5 Powerful Reasons to be Proud of Yourself Copyright 2005 Flaming Life Coaching INC. A painful divorce usually leaves people at the end of their tether. This is understandable, considering the amount of energy that goes into making concessions, holding it together and...read more

our past emotional
history coming back to haunt us.

If you’re planning on getting married someday, be
aware of what your emotional issues are. And if
you don’t know what your issues are, you may be
the most likely candidate for a divorce down the
road.

3.Be Kind, Not Right—We tend to have a tremendous
stake in showing our loved ones that we’re right.
An enormous amount of time is wasted in our
relationships by arguing over who’s right or
wrong.

This excessive arguing is just an indication of our
low self-esteem. A much easier and more effective way
to be in a relationship is to commit to kindness. When
you’re kind, you don’t need to be right. And it’s

Also see : Divorce Articles: How To Get The Most From A Divorce Article There are many types of divorce articles available on the Internet by a variety of authors. What's below will help you get the most out of the divorce articles here on this site and anywhere else. The below information about divorce articles...read more "Divorce Reasons; What Constitutes A Viable Reason For Thinking About Or Wanting A Divorce?" According to the Center for Disease Control's National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce. But, the Center for Disease Control also found that 96% of Americans express a...read more

much
easier for others to be with you!

There certainly are both justifiable divorces and
“well-done” divorces that are respectful of the
kids involved. But the number of divorces
involving childish and irresponsible decisions
based on self-interest is staggering.

Children deserve more than this. To allow a system
to continue that has half of our kids witnessing
their parent’s divorce is to turn our backs on our
most precious commodity.

It’s time to consider alternatives. Let’s look at
how we can spend more time educating and training
young people about relationship skills and
emotional intelligence. Let’s look at the fact
that in about 80% of the divorces in this

Also see : Divorced Parent: Do You Alienate Your Child from the Other Parent? I have seen some divorce parents consciously distance their children from the other parent? Such actions may only be justified when there is a genuine concern about the children's emotional or physical safety when with the other parent. But in the...read more The Basics of Divorce Law - Child Support According to Meislik & Levavy, the underlying principle behind child support is that "children of divorced parents have a right to be supported in accordance with the standard of living they had during their parent's marriage. The amount is based...read more

country,
only one of the participants (usually the woman)
wants to end the marriage. Can we keep no-fault
divorce as it is?

And most importantly, let’s look at our own
attitudes about commitment and decide what we want
to do.

Because the cost of not doing these things is
beyond measure.

About the Author

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, is a certified personal
Coach and the author of “Fix Your Wife in
30 Days or Less”
http://www.markbrandenburg.com/saveyourmarriage.htm
Sign up for his free newsletter, “Dads Don’t Fix
Your Kids,” at http://www.markbrandenburg.com.

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