Divorced and Dejected - 5 Powerful Reasons to be Proud of Yourself

Excerpt : Copyright 2005 Flaming Life Coaching INC. A painful divorce usually leaves people at the end of their tether. This is understandable, considering the amount of energy that goes into making


Copyright 2005 Flaming Life Coaching INC.

A painful divorce usually leaves people at the end of their tether.

This is understandable, considering the amount of energy that goes into making concessions, holding it together and completely miss-managing your emotions.

Every life changes, wanted or unwanted ultimately play a "roller coaster" on our emotions.

For the majority of people, ending a marriage is a huge step. Thus most people would rather remain in an unhappy marriage than leave.

If however, you find the courage to let go of an unhappy marriage or are forced into doing so, the following reasons can help remount your morale quickly.

1. You can have compassion for yourself. I'm convinced that when you got

Practical Solutions To Divorce & Custody Concerns Also see : Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in matrimony, they swear and vow to honor and respect each other and to remain partners both during good and bad times. But in most marriages, this is not always the case. One out...read more Divorce - Contested Or Uncontested Most often a divorce is contested when the man and women cannot find a common consensus. Most of the disagreements concern the Children, Visitation and how to divide the assets of the marriage along with Child Support, Alimony, How to deal with...read more

married, your intention wasn't to divorce at anytime.

Your primary reason for getting married was to share your life happily with your chosen partner. Even it didn't turn out that way.

None of us has all the answers or control over our lives, least of all, over the lives of others.

We can only learn to accept what we cannot change. When you made your vows, you alone knew what it meant to you at the time.

2. You can stop feeling like a failure, because you're not! Life is about learning and growing.

Don't get intimidated by statistics quota and let go of the image of fitting into a model.

You possess all the capabilities to create a great life for yourself even after a divorce! And don't you believe

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otherwise.

Failure only occurs if you give up on yourself. If you're still hurting, give yourself time to heal. Learn to forgive yourself and move on when you feel ready.

3. You can start celebrating your success as a free and wholesome individual.

As beautiful and fulfilling a great marriage can be, you don't require someone else to make you complete.

I once pointed out to a client that his wife leaving him could be exactly what he needed. This could get him to start thinking about his own needs and taking charge of his own life.

Sometimes people get sucked into their marriage and completely lose sight of their own identity. I am not saying that you shouldn't commit to your marriage.

Think about this for a moment:

Also see : Helping Children to Cope with Divorce If you are a responsible parent facing the minefield of divorce, a prime concern will be helping your child cope with the process. If, on the other hand you are a parent who believes that old chestnut, "My child isn't bothered” or "kids take things...read more What Divorce Parenting Practices is Best Appropriate for Preschoolers? How do you spare your preschoolers for the negative effects of divorce? How do you promote your preschooler's healthy growth and development? The answer is appropriate divorce parenting practices. The next question is what appropriate divorce...read more

you had an identity before you got married and you still had that identity after marriage, so why give it up?

You owe it to yourself and deserve to evolve to your best possibility in your own time.

Sadly enough, most couples seem to forget this. Especially those who marry very young.

4. You can give yourself some credit for facing up to the truth and ending what was no longer fulfilling to you or your partner.

It requires true honesty and courage to "pull out the plug," face your chagrin and be consequent.

There are a number of people living in unfulfilling marriages, as a result of fear of being alone.

Evidences also show that some people remain in their marriage for circumstantial reasons or based on mutual

Also see : A Time of Grief and Healing After Separation and Divorce I thought I would never feel the light of life again when I realized that my marriage was going to end. In fact I went through a painful year of not knowing if it would end. I had several months of suspecting that she was having an affair. There was...read more "Single Parenting: How The Challenge Of Single Parenting Affects Your Decision To Divorce." Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is unfortunate. According to the US Census Bureau, there were over 20 million single parents in the United States in the year 2000. That's a staggering statistic, certainly the worldwide...read more

arrangements.

Pat yourself on the back and feel proud of being strong enough to stand on your own. You now have a great time ahead of you. A time to get re-acquainted with YOU and your needs.

5. You can be determined to see this new phase as a time of "becoming".

Envisage your future as an opportunity to examine other exciting areas of life.

Have a sense of purpose and focus on making the best use of this period.

How many times have you taken a decision in the past quite uncertain about its outcome? Only to realize later on that it was one of your best decisions ever. This could be one of those times.

Who knows, you might even discover new values deeply hidden within you.

As you can see, viewing your

Also see : Taking Care of Children After Divorce After a marriage is over and you have custody of your children, you will have the responsibility for making the important decisions about your children's upbringing and schooling. In the majority of cases, the other parent still has a right to...read more Divorce Actually Makes Us Stronger My friends call me the "Divorce Poster Child". At the age of 20 I was married, and by 22 I had our first child. My husband was away at work every weekday, so it was just myself and the baby, keeping each other company from seven in the morning,...read more

divorce from the right right perspective is essential for your inner healing. This can help you let go of guilt and self persecution. The sooner you can begin to perceive yourself as someone of worth, the quicker you can relinquish the past. Thereby you can focus fully in the present to create a more fulfilling life.

About the author:

Kunbi Korostensky, N.D., Psychotherapist and Certified Life Coach is specialised in supporting people in transition, turn the changes in their lives into invigorating joy and happiness. View her ebooklet Top 10 holistic Questions to Embrace Change and Grow at: http://www.embracingchanges.com/Books-and-Tools-to-facilitate-Cha nges.html or: mailto: kunbi@embracingchanges.com

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