Divorce and Separation - A Child’s perspective

Excerpt : It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments even rows and this has a strong


It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments even rows and this has a strong effect on any child. Children do not understand why parents argue and cannot relate to rows during the build up to a divorce or seperation. They become confused and insecure and their life seems as if it is in turmoil. Here we explain some of the issues from a child’s perspective.

Children do not understand why parents no longer love each other and cannot stay together. Prior to divorce or separation they have only known that happy caring family environment which they were brought into. To them their world has been turned upside down and they

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cannot see why. If parents loved each other in the past, then why can’t they love one another in the future.

Children often believe that they could be the reason for a break up in a marriage which can result in long term damaging guilt complexes. A child’s character often changes during divorce or separation when things are not normal at home. Children can be very sensitive to the emotional environment.

During divorce or separation many children become disruptive at school, argumentative at home and some even go into a recluse. This can be a very lonely time, particularly if they are an only child. Their friends are not going through what they are emotionally. Hence they feel that they are the odd one out all of a sudden and do not

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know how to cope with the situation. All they want is for their life to go back to a normal family life where parents don’t argue and row as it may have been before the stress of divorce or seperation.

When a couple decide that divorce is the only option and separation is a necessity, children are again the ones that it effects the most. They are told that they will be with one parent one day and the other the next. How are they supposed to form any kind of routine ? This can often result in children not sleeping in their own beds as they prefer the comfort and security of being with a parent. Children often feel insecure and are most vulnerable even at school when they listen to their friends planning family outings and holidays.

Also see : How To Divorce Like You Are Buying A TV The facts are that 75% of all US and 50% of all Canadian marriages end in divorce. Divorce is rated number two on the scale of the most life altering stressors. During this difficult time you have to deal with everything thrown at you, all at once....read more Marriage - Divorce - Separation - How to handle the split loyalties after separation. We have all most probably encountered it at some stage in our lives - who do we stay friends with after a couple divorces or separates? The text book answer is to stay friends with both parties of course but that’s a mighty tall order to fulfil as...read more

Children of divorcing parents can feel as though they are going to miss out on family events and get togethers. During a divorce each parent makes separate commitments to a child and It is important that when arrangements have been made by the parent or parents that they keep to them as the child will feel let down and resent a parent for not being there for them after they had said they would. Reliability and punctuality are of utmost importance to a child. They will clock watch and expect to see you on time and have been looking forward to spending time with you wherever you decide to take them. In a child’s eyes it’s you they want to be with and it’s your time spent with them that’s most important to them even after the divorce or

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separation.

Divorce can bring our the worst in people. Never run down the other parent in front of your child. This creates resentment and bad feelings all round. Also, never think that you can buy a child if you are late or fail to follow through with your promise. Although you may think that you are doing good for buying your child a toy to impress them - think again - keep that special toy for a birthday or Christmas present. Your time to be with them is much more valuable than a toy. Even after the divorce or separation they will remember where you took them and what a fantastic time you both had rather than a toy. They will talk about your outing or time together for days because it meant so much to them to see you and have you all to

Also see : Divorce Online Sevice. Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce? Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means of struggle against bureaucracy are undertaken constantly and sometimes successfully. Today it is possible to fill in a tax declaration, apply for bankruptcy or to receive a legal...read more Prayer for a Couple Facing Possible Divorce Here is a prayer that the Lord gave me once for some couples that were facing possible divorce. My hope and prayer is that it will be a blessing to you and others that you know. I truly believe that prayer has the power to change things. God's...read more

themselves. Quality time rather than quantity of toys is far more important to a child.

These are just some of the issues children face when parents are going through the throws of a divorce or separation and every attempt should be made by divorcing parents to limit or reduce these adverse affects upon children.

http://www.marriage-divorce-separation.com

About the Author

Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations.

http://www.marriage-divorce-separation.com

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